Courtly Love Page 9

  "As you wish." Serena crossed the room to him and opened a chest. She lifted the mail and held it up for his inspection.

  Gyles turned it over, eyeing the links critically. "Now the armor." He commanded.

  Serena nodded and opened the door that led to the private chapel. "I had no other place to store it, I'm afraid. I thought your men would think it odd if I placed it in the armory."

  Gyles ran his hand over the metal. " Tis a fine piece of armor, good workmanship." He lifted it from the floor and found, as he knew he would, that its weight was less than it should have been. Scaled down to suit Serena's size, of course, and light enough so her slight frame would have no difficulty bearing the load of the armor. By the glow of the candle, Gyles could see that Lord Geoffrey had indeed indulged his daughter's boyish whims, for she possessed nearly every weapon imaginable. Gyles replaced the armor and closed the door to the chapel behind him.

  Serena had returned to her chair and sat combing the gold-streaked mass of her curls. She kept her back to Gyles when she spoke. "Am I to be allowed to view the lists tomorrow or am I still confined to this room?"

  Gyles frowned slightly at her unyielding back. "Do as you wish, Serena, I do not care."

  When the door had closed behind her husband, Serena doubled over in the chair as if in great pain.

  CHAPTER 5

  "The lists have been greatly enjoyed, m'lord."

  Edward and Gyles stood behind a parapet on the castle wall. Beneath them, the green field was littered with the knights in their polished, glittering armor, and the spectators milled about. The people's clothing formed bright splashes of color against the meadow as did the pavilions with their standards snapping smartly in the breeze. Gyles had not yet donned his armor and his coat of mail showed dull grey in the morning sun.

  Gyles nodded at Edward's observation and clapped the older man's shoulders. "You should have competed, Edward. Those callow youths need a good display of arms. Look at the way they hack at each other. None of them would have lasted a minute at Hastings."

  Edward chuckled, "I have my hands full just training the young pups you bring me, m'lord. I fear I am far too old to withstand the irritation of being set upon by any of those gallants." He studied the field briefly. "They have set up the targets, m'lord, we had better descend."

  But Gyles was watching the archery range below, his scar deathly pale. A knight in a familiar suit of armor had caught his eye, and while he watched, the knight strung his bow and tested its resiliency. Godwin! Again wearing Serena's coat-of-arms on his shield, though Gyles had expressly forbidden her to give him her favor.

  Gyles took the steps two at a time, heedless of Edward's shout: "Sir Gyles! Your armor, m'lord."

  He burst into Serena's chamber only to find it empty. With a growled expletive, Gyles turned and hurled himself along the passage, down another flight of steps, through the great hall and outside, where he made for the archery range. Godwin was already at the mark when Gyles arrived and he was forced to cool his heels and rage while that good knight loosed his arrows. With each arrow that found the heart of the target, a cheer went up from the bystanders, and once more Gyles was forced into unwilling admiration for Godwin's marksmanship. Of the five arrows allowed, only the last did not find the center, and Godwin raised a gloved hand in a gesture of indifference before he swung around to leave the field.

  Gyles made to follow but found his path blocked by Richard who was stringing his bow. Gyles tried to brush Richard aside and as he moved, tangled his foot in the rawhide, which immediately became emmeshed in the links of his mail. Richard swore as he knelt to free the strip of rawhide.

  "I know I am your guest, Lord Gyles, but you must have a care. I am delaying the contest because of your clumsiness and I fear your mail is shredding this string. Squire!" Richard called over his shoulder. "Return to my tent and bring me another string. And be quick about it! If you will stop struggling, m'lord, I can free you the sooner."

  Gyles ground his teeth in impatience as he watched Godwin's rapidly retreating figure. By the time Gyles was freed, Godwin had disappeared, and Gyles was forced to return to the castle to retrieve his bow, as it would soon be his turn to compete. As he stamped through the great hall, Gyles nearly collided with Serena. Her face was flushed and her eyes appeared overly bright as she sought to go around him.

  Gyles's hand shot out, stilling her movement, and she bent into the by now familiar mocking curtsy. "Where have you been?" Gyles snarled.

  "With Alan, m'lord. I lost track of time and must hurry if I am to see Bryan shoot. May I rise?" Serena's voice was breathless.

  "You missed Godwin's display then?"

  "Godwin? He has already taken part then? How did he fare?" Serena was on her feet now and Gyles could sense the excitement coursing through her.

  "Your man fared well. As far as I know he leads the field."

  Serena clapped her hands in childlike glee. "Does he really? How wonderful. Please, m'lord, will you release me? I am most eager to be off."

  "I can see that." Gyles sneered. "You disobeyed me, Serena. Godwin had your favor again today."

  "He asked so prettily, m'lord." Serena's long, tapering fingers came down over Gyles's hand and struggled to loose his grip. "Please, m'lord, I am missing the match!" Serena wailed.

  The cold mask of formality and reserve had dropped away and Gyles glimpsed for the first time a side of his wife he had never seen. Serena was young—as he had never been allowed to be—and that youth carried with it an exuberance and vitality she had heretofore carefully suppressed. Serena was vibrant and alive, and Gyles realized she must have felt isolated and lonely when she had been separated from her family and friends, from all that was familiar to her. Gyles had tried to crush her spirit, to subjugate her will to his, and for that he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Serena thrived on what he was incapable of giving—love, a commodity sorely lacking at Camden.

  Distressed, Gyles released Serena's arm. "Go then," he said quietly. "Richard is about to shoot, perhaps you will bring him luck." Beside Serena's innocent enthusiasm he felt old and jaded.

  Gyles walked slowly to the steps and Serena watched him go with wide eyes. She was suddenly ashamed of the trick she was playing on him—Gyles tried, for all his arrogance and pride to be a fair and just man, but she had given him little chance to prove himself with her. Serena twisted her scarf in her hands. There was no help for it now, she had begun the conspiracy and must see it through. Serena ran from the hall into the dazzling sunlight.

  * * *

  Gyles raised his bow, sighted the arrow on the target and exerted a steady pressure on the bowstring.

  "Hold! Wait! Do not shoot!"

  Serena's voice floated through the air, and, turning, Gyles saw his wife pushing her way toward him. Obligingly the spectators parted and Serena raced the last few feet to Gyles. He lowered his bow and looked quizzically at Serena.

  "Oh, I nearly missed you!" Serena gasped. "Wear this, m'lord, for luck." She lifted her scarf and tied it about Gyles's arm. As he drew his brows together in a frown she said desperately, "Please, m'lord. I must have a champion."

  "You have Godwin."

  Serena flushed. "But you are my husband, tis you who should be my acknowledged gallant."

  Gyles stared down into the twin pools of blue that were Serena's eyes. "You would allow a Norman to bear your honor?"

  "Only one Norman, m'lord," Serena murmured softly, and withdrew from the field.

  Serena found a place among the cluster of spectators between Richard and Bryan.

  "What are you about, Serena?" Bryan asked angrily. "Have you forgotten your vengeance so quickly?"

  "Be still, Bryan, he is my husband. Tis fitting he wear my colors." Serena's eyes never left Gyles as he loosed one arrow after another.

  "Serena?" Richard's voice was anguished.

  Serena turned to Richard. "Do not start again, Richard, I. beg of you. I can endure it no longer. Between you, Bryan and Gyle
s, my soul is being ripped to pieces. Be my friend, Richard, and leave it at that."

  "I cannot give up hope, my love."

  A cheer went up from the crowd, and Serena spun back to the contest. Gyles's arrows had all found the center of the target, and a surge of pride flooded Serena. She did not even notice that Richard left her side, as she started forward to congratulate Gyles, but Bryan placed a restraining hand on her arm.

  "You astound me, Serena. What are you playing at now? First you swear you must have revenge and now you play the gentle wife. Decide, sister mine. Which do you desire to be: vengeful or loving?"

  "Neither. Both. Oh, Bryan, I know not." Serena looked at Bryan pleadingly. "My head pulls me one way, my heart another. I am confused and beset on all sides. I can find no peace in any decision I make. What has happened to me, Bryan?"

  A strand of gold blew across her face and Bryan gently brushed it away from Serena's cheek. What he thought, Bryan did not wish to put into words; for he had the feeling that Serena, his adoring, younger sister was growing away from him. Bryan smiled. "What of Godwin?" He teased lightly.

  "There is no reason he should not take part in the mock battle tomorrow. Nothing has changed."

  "I'll be glad when the lists are over, my nerves are torn to shreds," Bryan sighed. "Speak to Richard, Serena, his heart has been broken."

  "I have. He doesn't listen. He shouldn't have returned to Camden, it only caused him more pain." Serena looked around for Gyles, but he had disappeared from the crowd. Belatedly, Serena remembered that Beda had lauded his victory with a kiss that was in no way sisterly. Was Gyles now in Beda's arms within the walls of her chamber?

  "The players have arrived." Bryan's voice jolted Serena away from her thoughts. "Let's go watch them, Serena. We'll find Richard and while away the afternoon. For the last time, Serena, let us pretend that nothing has changed—and then, then you must pick up your life. You are my sister, Serena, and we have inherited strength from our parents; you will conquer your Norman mate if that is what you desire most. And I think it is."

  * * *

  The evening passed in much the same manner as the preceding ones, with some slight changes. Serena no longer dropped to the floor when Gyles neared and Bryan resisted the temptation of the ale kegs. Richard refrained from badgering Serena about an annulment and the hall resounded with the revelers' laughter. The following day would see the mock battle and as the opposing forces had already been decided, the knights took great delight in shouting challenges at each other. With Gyles seated beside her, Serena happily viewed the entertainment.

  "Godwin is not present again tonight, it seems. Where does your brave Saxon keep himself, Serena?" Gyles studied his wife's profile with an odd sparkling in his green eyes.

  "Godwin is a most pious young man, m'lord. I believe he finds the evening's sport not to his taste." With her head, Serena indicated several couples locked in each other's arms.

  "It makes a night pass swiftly." Gyles observed with a shrug as he reached for his ale. "Richard seems to have found a most willing partner," he added.

  Serena followed his look. "So he has," she said with little interest, then suddenly sat bolt upright in her chair.

  Gyles leaned back in his chair and watched the different emotions chase across Serena's face. "Does it trouble you that he has found another, Serena?"

  "No . . . but, the woman—m'lord, she is married!" Serena's voice was shocked.

  "So?"

  The strange note in his voice caused Serena to turn to Gyles. "But, m'lord, they are committing adultery."

  " Tis a common enough practice, Serena, the lady was forced into a marriage she abhors, so she finds her pleasure wherever she can." He was speaking not of Richard and his lady, but of himself and Serena.

  And Serena saw the analogy. "Her husband, m'lord, does he also take his . . . pleasure outside his marriage vows?"

  His green eyes looked away from her blue ones and concentrated on the guests. "He does. He is a most virile man and his appetite is never appeased."

  If Gyles had hoped to shake her, he was successful. Serena's hands were clenched in her lap and she studied them closely. "He finds no comfort in his wife's arms?" Serena asked quietly.

  "They have three offspring, all boys. Their duty to each other is finished—and she neither encourages nor discourages him to seek her bed." A pain began somewhere deep in his heart and Gyles had to force himself to continue. "They do not love, Serena, and have made each other's lives unbearable."

  "One does not choose who to love, 'tis something that happens without mortal interference," Serena said reflectively. "Would that one could say 'I will love this person and not the other.' But one cannot. Love must begin without pressure and then be tenderly nourished by the lovers. Love should be freely given; it should be shared so that as it grows both people are incomplete without the other."

  Serena looked up and found herself lost in Gyles's emerald gaze. He knew! Gyles looked into her heart and saw there what she had only now discovered. Serena had no defense left to her with which to deny the truth she saw revealed in his eyes, and now he could hurt her as he never had before. She began to tremble and her only thought was to escape. Escape Gyles before he forced her to put her emotions into words. His large, warm hand suddenly covered hers and Serena's eyes dropped to study the strong, brown fingers that exerted a gentle pressure.

  "You are trembling, Serena, and your hands are like ice. Come, we will retire." Gyles rose to his feet, drawing Serena with him.

  Unsteadily, Serena managed to stay by his side as they made their way through the hall and up to their chambers. Gyles did not pause by Serena's door but took her instead to his chamber. He left her side to light a candle and then reached out to pull his wife against him. Serena stood stiffly in the circle of his arms and Gyles began to gently stroke her back. His lips brushed lightly against the top of her hair and Serena shuddered.

  "Do not be afraid, Serena, I will not hurt you more than I can help. Do you understand?"

  Serena nodded. "Nellwyn told me." She tilted her head upward. "I do not fear the pain, m'lord."

  "You fear me?" Gyles's hands stopped their gentling movement and his fingers meshed around the back of her neck. "You needn't, Serena, for I will be as gentle as possible."

  "I suppose you've had many women?"

  "A full legion at least," Gyles teased.

  "Do not mock me," Serena whispered.

  Gyles sobered instantly. "Forgive me, I am not used to dealing with untutored virgins." His hands moved and pulled the ribbons from Serena's hair and then twined themselves in the curls.

  Gyles's breath was hot upon her neck and Serena raised a hand to the wiry curls at the back of his neck. "I am ignorant, m'lord."

  "I do not expect a virgin to know a man's passions," he murmured against her hair. "I shall teach you well, Serena, not only my delights, but your own as well."

  Gyles bent and covered Serena's lips with his own as his hands slid down her shoulders and arms before they circled her waist. Gyles's mouth worked on hers, prying her lips apart ever so slowly until his tongue could enter and plunder the recesses of Serena's mouth. Serena felt herself lifted from the floor and clasped tightly against Gyles's chest. His mouth released hers and Serena's head fell back against his arm while his lips traced a burning path down her throat. His breathing quickened and Gyles pressed Serena closer until it seemed no part of her body did not touch his and Serena could feel his desire. His lips claimed her again, a savage repossession that drew her very soul out of her bodv and into his own. A sweet, urgent need surfaced in Serena, and she returned to Gyles over and over again the kiss he had given her.

  She clung to him with all the strength of her tiny body and found herself moving wantonly against Gyles until she was sure the contact of their bodies would take her to the brink of insanity. Gyles pressed tiny kisses against the corners of her mouth and temples and gently lowered her down the length of his body until her feet reached t
he floor. Unwilling to lose the strange lassitude that permeated her body, Serena lay against Gyles, listening to the deep beat of his heart return to its steady, even pattern.

  Gyles's eyes glowed as he looked down at his wife and he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her face upward. Serena's eyes had darkened with passion and Gyles knew she would not resist his advances this night. For the moment Serena was totally his, her will bending to his—but for how long? Would morning find her once again rejecting and repudiating him? Should he take her tonight and force her into the realization that though she might wish it, she would never escape him? What could he use to bind her tightly to him? That her pride forced her to honor the vows she had spoken was not enough for Gyles. He wanted her bound to him so closely that she would never glance at another man.

  "What would you have from me, Serena?" Gyles asked huskily.

  "Have from you, m'lord?" Serena's eyes grew puzzled and she drew slightly away from him. "I do not understand."

  "Jewels? Furs? Name only what you desire and you shall have it." Gyles smoothed the mass of hair over Serena's shoulder.

  "There is naught that I desire ... except..."

  Gyles sighed. Serena was no different from any of the other women he had taken after all. His hand dropped to his side. "Except what, Serena?"

  Serena blushed deeply. "I would ask . . . that is . . . will you . . . for me . . . will you no longer seek out Beda?" Her words tumbled over each other now. "I do not mean to be shrewish, m'lord, truly, but in truth I cannot bear the thought of you in her arms."

  It was an enormous admission for Serena, and Gyles recognized it as such. "That I can easily grant you, for as God is my witness, I have not shared her bed since you and I were wed. Name something else, Serena." Gyles smiled down at her. "What can I give you that you do not now possess?"

  Serena shook her head. "Nothing, m'lord."

  "Then you must grant me a boon, Serena."

  "If it is within my power, m'lord, I shall do whatever you wish," Serena replied.