Courtly Love Read online

  Gyles raised an eyebrow. "A small wager on the outcome, Serena? Will that make the contest worth your while?" Serena nodded. "Very well, then, what do you wish if you win?"

  Serena's eyes danced with deviltry. "To be allowed to take part in the lists tomorrow."

  "What!"

  "I was going to anyway, but now I have risked my chance, for if I lose, I shall not participate." Gyles still wore a dumbfounded expression as she continued. "Since my wager is quite dear to me, m'lord, what will you wager that is equally dear?"

  Gyles stared at her and then shook his head as if to clear it "Serena, surely you are not serious about the lists! Even if you were trained in the art of combat you would stand no chance against veteran knights. Any of my men, even the weakest of them, could accidentally do you a grievous injury. I will not allow—"

  "The wager, m'lord, or the challenge is void," Serena warned. "And if the challenge is off, I participate as I planned, even if you deny me your permission."

  "Oh, very well," Gyles groaned. "For my wager, I choose—" His mind raced frantically. "I choose that you begin, as of the end of this race, to occupy your rightful place at Camden as my wife. And you will start by having Beda removed from the chamber next to mine and installing yourself in her place."

  Serena paled, and Gyles thought for a moment that the price was too high. Actually, if he won, Gyles would have accomplished two ends. He would be relieved—at least to some extent—of Beda's noisome presence, and Serena would be closer to him. The afternoon had caused Gyles to realize that he did, in fact, desire Serena as his wife. She would be his talisman against all that was ugly and sordid in his life. Her mere presence could bring him a peace of mind he had never thought to have. Serena still had not spoken and Gyles watched her closely. "Well, Serena, what say you? Do you agree to the wager?"

  Numbly, Serena nodded. The wager was more than she could have hoped for—to gain her rightful place beside Gyles! Yet, she also desired to participate in the mock battle. If Serena won, she lost; and if she lost, she won! Which course to take? "Aye, tn'lord, I accept your terms. Do you give the signal or do I?"

  "By all means, let us be fair. You give the word, Serena. 'Tis only just since I challenged you."

  Serena nodded. "Now!"

  Both struck out for the shore. Serena concentrated completely on keeping abreast of Gyles. As she had observed, he was a powerful swimmer, and he effortlessly began to pull ahead of her. Serena drew upon her reserves and once more was even with Gyles: The process was repeated again and again until Serena weakened and suddenly realized that Gyles only toyed with her, prolonging the game. He could easily have outdistanced her from the start, and could now be sitting on the bank if he so desired.

  A glance over his shoulder showed Gyles that Serena was lagging behind him, but her jaw was set in a determined line. "Yield, Serena! You cannot win!" Gyles called back.

  "Nay!" Serena shouted and for her trouble swallowed a mouthful of water. Damn but the man was irritating! Gyles's laughter floated back to her, and she saw that the long strokes of his powerful arms had already carried him to the shallows and he was now wading to the shore. Frustrated, Serena stopped swimming and let herself sink beneath the water. What difference did it make whether Gyles won? It had been a lighthearted contest, made in jest, and whatever the outcome, she gained.

  What was she trying to prove? And to whom, Gyles or herself? Why could she not feel content with the thought of being Gyles's wife? For most women, that would be enough. What was she searching for?

  When she surfaced, the first sound Serena heard was Gyles calling her name. Did his voice sound frantic or was her mind—already confused by the questions that chased each other around—playing tricks on her? She paddled easily to the shallow water and then walked to the bank. Gyles waited for her, his legs slightly apart, arms folded over his chest. His eyes were flashing angrily at her, and Serena wondered what had caused him to lose his bantering mood.

  When Serena neared Gyles, his hand shot out and she was pulled roughly against him. "What were you playing at out there?" Gyles asked angrily. He lifted Serena off her feet until their eyes were level with each other. "I thought you had taken a cramp and could not gain the shore."

  Serena looked at him in wide-eyed astonishment. When she gazed into those green eyes, all defiance drained from her and the questions that had plagued her earlier seemed completely unimportant. "Did I frighten you, m'lord?" Serena asked softly.

  Gyles did not reply, but Serena felt his arm tighten around her. His free hand rose and brushed an errant strand of hair from her face. When Gyles spoke, his voice was oddly strained. "Never . . . ever ... do that again, Serena. I'll not allow you to escape our wager so easily."

  But I do not wish to escape, Serena wanted to say. Why couldn't she speak those words? Why did pride chain her tongue, when Serena's heart told her that the words would greatly ease things between herself and Gyles? And why was he staring at her as if he could read her thoughts?

  "You will carry out your part of our bargain." It was a statement, not a question, and Gyles searched Serena's face for a sign that she would refuse.

  Serena's eyes dropped away from his; surely he could look directly into her soul and see the inner turmoil there. "The bargain will be met, m'lord, though I daresay Beda will prove most difficult."

  Gyles returned Serena to the ground, then gently cupped her face between his hands. "If Beda proves troublesome, I shall deal with her. Take no chances, Serena. Remember her dagger."

  "You need not remind me, m'lord. I remember full well her anger." Serena glanced behind Gyles to see Alan running toward them. Reluctantly, Serena pulled Gyles's hands away from her face. '"Tis time we left, m'lord, the day grows short and I fear we have neglected Alan."

  Alan threw himself into his father's arms. Gyles lifted the boy to his shoulders and offered his hand to Serena. A small smile curved her lips as her ringers interlaced with her husband's and the trio walked back to the picnic site. Serena's kirtle was still wet and she debated removing the garment before she donned her gown, but Gyles and Alan were waiting impatiently for her, so she quickly shrugged the garment over her shoulders and hurried to the horses. Gyles lifted Serena into her saddle, then mounted his own horse and seated Alan before him. The ride back to the castle was spent answering Alan's questions, and he soon had Serena and Gyles laughing at his inquisitiveness. They were still chuckling when they reached the stables, and the grooms who ran out to hold their mounts glanced at their Norman lord in surprise. The grooms were not the only people who were interested in the return of the lord and lady of the manor. Nellwyn and Beda waited on the steps of the castle— the old nurse with a satisfied smile on her lined face, and Beda with her face contorted into an ugly mask.

  Serena noted the killing looks Beda gave her, and she was suddenly overcome by a feeling of pure terror. Serena's legs trembled and her hands turned to blocks of ice. She retained enough control to send Alan off with Nellwyn before the confrontation with Beda. Gyles sensed Serena's fear and slipped an arm around her shoulder, readying himself to intervene should Beda threaten Serena in any way. Her uneasiness receded a bit, and Serena drew a deep breath to steel herself and steady her nerves.

  But matters were taken out of her hands as Beda launched full force into an immediate attack on both of them. "Where have you been? Your guests have been arriving since noon!" She gestured toward the field where pavilions were being set up. "I have had the entire responsibility of welcoming your guests and quartering the lords and ladies here in the castle. You, Lady Serena, should have been here to attend to these matters; after all, though you are not a wife, you are the lady of the manor and you do have duties to attend—"

  "You need not remind me of my duties, Lady Beda, I am quite aware of them, I assure you," Serena said quietly, though a slow flush colored her cheeks, for she had forgotten the grand scale of the lists Gyles had planned. "And from this moment on, I plan to relieve you of the duties I have
so thoughtlessly thrust upon you." Serena motioned one of the servants to her as they advanced into the hall.

  Beda glanced sharply from Gyles to Serena as she caught the new authority in Serena's voice, and her eyes narrowed until they were little more than slits at the sight of Gyles's hand resting lightly on Serena's shoulder. Something had happened.

  "See that Lady Beda's things are removed from her chamber at once." Serena broke into Beda's thoughts when she addressed the servant. "And have my belongings placed in their stead. Beda, you may have my former chambers if you wish; the room is quite pleasant."

  Beda glared at Serena. "What do you think you're doing?" she hissed. "I have no intention of giving up my chamber!"

  "I fear you have no choice, Beda. The rooms you occupy are not yours, but belong to whoever bears the title Lady of Camden." Serena stole a quick look at Gyles before she continued. "I have waited for you to gracefully relinquish that which is no longer yours, and I feel I have been more than patient. But your time and my patience have run out, and so I tell you now that I will no longer be kept from my rightful place."

  "I will not—" Beda began.

  "You will do as I say, Beda, and not cause a scene in front of our guests, or I will have you confined to your chamber." Serena advanced upon the older woman, feeling quite pleased that at last she could do what should have been done when she first became Gyles's wife—and with Gyles's approval. "Heed my words well, Beda, for your own sake." Serena warned.

  One look at Gyles told Beda that there was no help to be had from him, at least for the present. So she whirled and mounted the stairs that led to the upper floors.

  "She's gone to find Aurelia, no doubt."

  The familiar voice caused Serena to spin about and the next moment she was being twirled around in her brother's arms.

  "Bryan! Oh, Bryan!" Serena was laughing and crying at the same time. "I'm so glad to see you! How long have you been here? How long can you stay? Are you riding in the lists? Will you ..."

  "Stop! Stop!" Bryan grinned down at her. "Will you never stop badgering me with questions? You have done so since you were first able to speak, and I was greatly hoping your marriage would change that." Bryan looked closely at Serena, and the bantering tone disappeared from his voice. "All is well with you, Serena?" He spoke quietly, for though Gyles had turned to speak to other arrivals he was not out of earshot.

  Serena lowered her eyes. "Yes, Bryan, of course."

  "We have heard," Bryan continued, "that you two, the marriage... is not complete."

  Serena colored. "You should not speak of such things, Bryan, and especially not here."

  "Is it true?" Bryan persisted.

  "True or false, 'tis none of your concern, Bryan."

  "Richard is here, Serena, and he wishes a private word with you. He has sent me—"

  "Are you both mad? Have you taken leave of your senses entirely?" Serena whispered angrily. "I cannot— and will not—meet Richard alone! You must tell him—"

  "My greetings, Bryan."

  Gyles had returned to them so quietly that Serena nearly jumped at the sound of his voice. When his hand came to rest lightly on her shoulder, Serena was sure that he could feel the wild beating of her heart and she searched his face for some sign that he had overheard the conversation with Bryan. But Gyles was smiling at Bryan, so Serena relaxed and suddenly became aware of her mussed appearance. As soon as she could, Serena would have to escape to her new chamber and change, for more guests were filling the hall with each minute that passed. She returned her attention to the conversation and winced inwardly as she noted the stiffness with which Bryan spoke to Gyles. Bryan was looking daggers at her husband and Serena feared that soon he would drop any pretense of cordiality and intentionally insult Gyles.

  "Tell me, Bryan," Serena intervened smoothly. "Will you participate in all the events?"

  Bryan tore his gaze from Gyles and understood instantly that he had been outmaneuvered. His anger had reached its limits and he snapped at his sister. "Of course I am! What a stupid question!" He ignored the pained look in Serena's eyes as he continued. "What of you, sister dear? Will you participate as well? Or are you now content to let some knight carry your colors? Serena always took part in the combats at Broughton, Lord Gyles, except for the lance combat. She was far too light and was constantly being unhorsed. Even so, Serena persisted until Father finally forbade her to enter the joust. With a broadsword or longbow, however, Serena is most accomplished. Why, when we were small, she often threatened to kill the first Norman cur she set eyes upon. Tis to her undying shame that she appears to have forgotten—"

  A hand clapped hard against his shoulder cut off Bryan's speech and he turned to glare at the source of yet another interruption. Richard glared back at him before releasing Bryan's shoulders and bending to kiss Serena's hand. Bryan snorted and stalked away.

  * * *

  "Serena, you are more beautiful than ever," Richard murmured, then raised his head to salute his host. "Your pardon, Lord Gyles, for greeting your lady first, but I would have you remember mat we are old friends." Gyles inclined his head slightly as Richard continued. "Be patient with my friend," Richard nodded at Bryan's retreating back. "I fear he indulged himself with his wineskin far too often during the journey. Tis a fault of his for which Serena can vouch." He bowed and made his way after Bryan.

  Serena stared at the floor, embarrassed to the very depths of her soul for her brother's behavior. Everything had been going so well! What must Gyles think of her now? Would he turn from her now and again become remote and arrogant? She had hoped so desperately for him to want her as his wife.

  While Serena's thoughts were in a turmoil, Gyles's were surprisingly clear. That Serena had not wanted this marriage, he had known, but that she shared Bryan's hatred of Normans was something new. Gyles had heard rumors concerning Bryan's activities and he wondered if Serena had a part in her brother's schemes. If he invited her to share his bed, would he awaken some night to the feel of a cold blade at his neck? Serena had been so pliant this afternoon—why? What was she planning? To have Bryan under his roof was bad enough, but he also was plagued with Richard's presence as well. Did Serena plan to kill him and then take Richard as her lover? What did Serena hide behind those blue eyes of hers?

  Gyles was of a mind to confront her with his accusations, but he checked the impulse. "Go and change, Serena, before you take a chill. I will see to our guests." Serena turned her face upward to his and he frowned at its paleness. "And for the love of God, put some color in your cheeks and try to smile, or I'll be accused of beating you! I would hate to be challenged either by your brother or that erstwhile Saxon swain of yours," he snapped.

  * * *

  The evening was a nightmare that seemed to last forever for Serena. She moved through the guests with a smile fixed on her lips. She answered questions and made conversation without being aware of what she said. Gyles spoke not a word to her and in fact avoided her completely. Serena's only comfort was that he treated Beda the same way. Serena's nerves were stretched so taut that she felt like screaming when she found herself trapped between Richard and Bryan. Bryan had made free with the ale and the last vestiges of control had vanished.

  "My sister, the Norman whore!" He saluted her with his drinking horn. "Where is our most gracious host, your husband? The Normans! They rape first our land and then our women. Does he please you well, sister? The nights are far too short for him I'll wager." He subsided back into his ale and Serena nearly dashed the horn from his lips.

  Serena drew a shaky breath. "Perhaps you had best take Bryan outside, Richard, before he causes trouble."

  "Serena, he didn't mean anything. You know what he's like when he drinks. Do not blame Bryan, for I understand well how he feels." Richard moved closer to her. "Is it true that your marriage is not complete, Serena? The Norman has not touched you?" Serena's eyes blazed at him and she started to move away but he caught her arm. "If 'tis true, Serena, there is still a way fo
r us to be together. Petition for an annulment, Serena, the Church will surely grant it."

  Serena pried Richard's fingers from her arm and hurried from him. Across the hall Aurelia and Beda watched her departure with pleased expressions.

  "Everything is going quite well, Beda, don't you think?" Aurelia smiled at her sister.

  Beda nodded sullenly. "Except for Serena. I thought this afternoon that our plans would come to naught, but now"—she glanced speculatively at Gyles—"I'm not sure."

  "You have kept them apart?" Aurelia asked worriedly. "There won't be any offspring from this union?"

  "I've done my best!" Beda hissed.

  "Yes, especially when you attacked her! You nearly destroyed everything with that idiotic move. I'll tell you once more—first Geoffrey and Bryan, then Serena and Gyles." Aurelia sighed. "Stop pouting, Beda, you'll have Gyles for quite some time. You must get me more of those herbs before I leave. My supply is nearly gone."

  "Tomorrow, while everyone is at the tournament." Beda cast a smug look at Aurelia. " Tis thoughtful of Serena to keep such a liberal supply of what we need, as well as a book to tell us how much to use." The two sisters exchanged smiles and settled back comfortably in their chairs.

  Thankfully, the evening ended early as all the guests wished to be well rested for the lists the following day. Serena retired gratefully to her chamber. The pleasant afternoon seemed years ago now, and Serena could have wept for her stillborn hopes. There was no sound from Gyles's chamber and Serena assumed that he had sought out Beda's room. She fell into bed, emotionally drained, but sleep eluded her as her mind continued to race. What had happened, Serena asked herself again. A few ill-chosen words, and all her plans had been destroyed. Damn Bryan and his fondness of wine! Was she never to live her life without others' interference? She heard the door to Gyles's chamber open and close, and Serena lay quietly listening to the sound of his movements in the room. Would Gyles at least come to her to discuss Bryan's rashness and Richard's thoughtless actions? If he did, Serena was sure she could repair what damage had been done. But the night grew older and Gyles did not come, and Serena nearly cried in her despair. Instead she rose from the bed and opened the trunk that held her armor. Carefully, Serena removed her mail, armor, shield, and weapons and began to polish them by the flickering candlelight. She had been a fool to believe Gyles could be won by soft words and willing compliance, but she would be a fool no longer.